Download E-books Weird and Witty Tales of Mystery PDF
By Joseph Lewis French
While you're yearning a great secret tale, not anything else will do. The items amassed in bizarre and Witty stories of poser have the additional benefit of a touch of humor, wit, and shrewdpermanent wordplay -- those certainly aren't dry and musty detective stories with out an oz of existence or heat. You'll be guffawing at the same time you're sinking your tooth into those delightfully complicated tales.
I - may well Day Eve (Algernon Blackwood)
II - The Diamond Lens (Fitz-James O'Brien)
III - The Mummy's Foot (Théophile Gautier)
IV - Mr. Bloke's merchandise (Mark Twain)
V - A Ghost (Lafcadio Hearn)
VI - the fellow Who Went Too some distance (E. F. Benson)
VII - Chan Tow the Highrob (Chester Bailey Fernald)
VIII - The Inmost gentle (Arthur Machen)
IX - the key of Goresthorpe Grange (A. Conan Doyle)
X - the fellow with the faded Eyes (Guy de Maupassant)
XI - The Rival Ghosts (Brander Matthews)
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Dissa lady start rip up flaw. Her beau he'p her ole he can, an' paintings vay demanding, fas'—fred a person come. Kep' glance roun'. An' eve'y tem pea-oil mild flicker, glance roun' to shee who used to be. Ole tem cease to hol' his ear on flaw—shee who come. Flaw rip up; nen pass getta shover an' dig lengthy ho' in earf, unnerneaf dissa mattress. Nen vay fast shover again ole dissa earf, repair flaw, an' blow out gentle. "'Ole tem I not sleep dissa loof. Vay hunger—no wadder; an' can't rob dissa merchan' becose he lifeless! Getta vay disgussion. gentle exit, I cling foot over' aspect dissa loof, an' start fink. Maw I fink, maw getta disgussion. Bye-bye getta vay, vay disgussion. Nen tek dissa bamboo po' to shove frough dissa ho' in loof—vay quier. while he shove frough, nen I ole suddenity commence push, jab, shove—quick—ole semma churn budder. Down under girl an' her beau start squea', squea', ole semma rat! 'Most scare' to def! Nen I shin down loof—run 'way. '" Fuey attracts an extended breath, and smiles at me his calm, celestial smile. "We', Chan Tow finis' his sto'y. Justice of the Peace was once ole tem smoke mammoth clou's smoke, an' mek loom glance lika used to be on fireplace. Mek oneddy wek up an' open daw. whilst Chan Tow finis', Justice of the Peace say: 'My de-ah brudder de highrob, yo' sto'y vay intinesse, vay intinesse! I fink i'm going slip. ' So ole thlee used to be lie all the way down to move slip, an' Chan Tow was once tek his op' pipe an' start smoke opi'. Whatta you say—hurt de pipe? " "Hit the pipe. " "Oh, yeh; hit pipe. I doan' spe'k Ingernish vay we'. "Magistrate rainy lengthy tem. Bye-bye oneddy start to snow, an' nen bye-bye Chan Tow getta doan' recognize. " "Chan Tow received have no idea? " "Getta ole semma was once died. Doan' comprehend. " "Unconscious? " "Yeh; uh-uh-coshious! " sneezes Fuey. "Nen Justice of the Peace start craw' 'long on his stoamch—inchy—inchy—cross flaw—out daw. Nen run fas' he can in the direction of Tsan Ran Foo. "One mont' pass via, an' Justice of the Peace sit up straight in his excessive chair in his court docket. Befron him dissa girl an' her beau,—ole conceal wif mark dissa bamboo po',—an' dissa fadder-mudder-in-'aw, an' dissa highrob. Justice of the Peace say, vay slow—ole semma idol speak: 'Dissa—woman—her lover—are convert—to behead—by hev dey heads lower off—till dey lifeless! What you fink, girl? ' girl say: 'Yo' Excennency, I vay gnad to be behead wif my de-ah lover. I vay delight we behead begedder. Our spi'its begedder habby fo'ever. ' Nen she flip kiss her beau; yet he too scare to spe'k. An' bofe used to be tek out to behead—dissa girl ole tem to mek to kiss her beau. "Magistrate say to highrob: 'You comprehend me? Who eata subbah wif you sucha-sucha evening? ' Chan Tow say, 'O yo' Excennency, I doan' understand who was once! ' Justice of the Peace say: 'I was once dissa guy. I glate t'anks faw you. Awso dissa fadder-mudder-in-'aw dissa useless guy. Gaw sen' me to yo' condo to mek you instlument to transform dissa mudderers. I provide you with reliable place; awso cash. " "And that used to be how those criminals have been switched over? " I say, remembering the promise of the tale. "Yeh; convert to behead. Dissa case," concluded Fuey, "show how Gaw can convert cliliman whilst he want; express how Gaw is glate. I tay you China peoples no longer heeffen.