Anthology

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A witty and wide-ranging anthology of snubs of each variety--from literature and from life--most actual, a couple of apocryphal, all memorable. incorporated during this assortment are a few selection put-downs by way of such celebrated prior masters as William Shakespeare, Woodrow Wilson, Groucho Marx, Mark Twain, Dorothy Parker, and Winston Chruchill.

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It is a pleasurable condition which you will be blissful to listen to, younger and gorgeous woman is starting to be right into a girl expressly on my account, and is now saving up for me. i assumed i might point out it. i've got now only to express regret for trespassing see you later in your awareness. Good-night. ' CHARLES DICKENS The previous interest store, 1840-1 Carlton Villa, Teddington, (Date in complete) My pricey Percy, Your letter asserting your engagement to Miss_____ definitely shocked me. I had no concept that you have been considering the sort of step, yet i'm certain i am hoping that you've good thought of the problem, and that you're going to no longer discover, too past due, that your passion has carried you too a ways. As for my consent and approval, they don't count number. when you had thought of me in any respect you will have requested my opinion earlier than you devoted your self, after which i'd have advised you that I thought of you rash and impulsive. i can't hinder you being engaged, yet i will not congratulate you upon the step. The younger woman is without doubt all you photograph her, and i've not anything to induce opposed to her for my part. yet consent and approval i will not supply. you're too younger and green, too impecunious, to bask in this sort of luxurious as a spouse for years yet to come, and a protracted engagement is a mistake. I stay, My expensive Percy, Your affectionate Uncle, Frank Richards. Beeton's whole Letter author for women and gents whilst i'm useless, you will discover it difficult, stated he, To ever locate one other guy Like me. What makes you're thinking that, as i guess You do, i might ever wish one other guy such as you? EUGENE FITCH WARE from The final chuckle in the course of the process an American journey, Mrs Pat as soon as misplaced her ordinary keep an eye on of the location. a slightly shy, unobtrusive little guy was once taking her into dinner. She became her magnetic eyes on him and, in her superior histrionic tones, stated: 'Tell me which might you faster do - love passionately or be enjoyed passionately? ' The little guy took a deep breath, thought of, then ventured: Td otherwise be a canary. ' MARGARET PETERS Mrs Pat: The lifetime of Mrs Patrick Campbell, 1984 Catherine Howard, 5th spouse of Henry VIII, married him on the instigation of family fearful to realize political impression. In 1542 the king had her beheaded whilst he realized of her adultery with Thomas Culpepper. As she stood at the scaffold she took the possibility of placing the King firmly in his position by way of pointing out: 'I die a Queen, yet i might really die the spouse of Culpepper. ' Queen Elizabeth I had a jester, grasp speed, of whom she was once very fond and who was once allowed to assert particularly outrageous issues so long as they made her chortle. even if, on one celebration he over-stepped the mark and used to be despatched clear of court docket for making very own comments concerning the Queen in entrance of an meeting of overseas dignitaries. ultimately the jester used to be restored to favour and the Queen welcomed him again with the chiding comment: 'Come now, velocity, allow us to listen not more of our faults. ' 'No certainly Madam,' he responded, 'for i personally by no means speak of what's mentioned via all of the international.

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